We have to look out for our children, but we never quite know how to go about it. Certainly, being a parent is hard. Giving up and shipping your kids off to an internment camp in northwestern Montana, however, is not the right way to go about it.
Some of you might remember Spring Creek Academy, the Thompson Falls “alternative school” that got in trouble a while back for causing psychological harm to its students. Cruel and unusual punishment? Closed door practices? Not in my backyard, Spring Creek.
About the same time, a few good legislators formed a state board of adolescent torture industry representatives to come up with a system of rules. They called it the board of Private Alternative Adolecent Residential Programs, or PAARP). Sort of like the livestock industry has a Uniform Methods and Rules code–same thing. The state said, “Here juvenile waterboarders, here’s an opportunity to police yourself, please take advantage of it.” Of course, they didn’t and a few rules proposed by various legislators proved hard to swallow… like one banning cruel and unusual punishment. I guess we know now where George Bush got his start, right?
The PAARP board’s deadline for drafting this rule book is October. Now my cousin, Bethany Nimbelton in Helena, nevertheless heard about Gov. Brian Schweitzer ordering a shakeup of the PAARP board almost two months ago. “Now, how are they supposed to meet their deadline,” I asked Bethany, incredulously. “Nancy Nimbleton,” she told me, “I don’t think the Governor thinks they’re serious about drafting rules. It looks like the board’s been on a procrastination mission for two years!”
Well that just steams me. Worse off, when I called the Governor back in July, his staff told me they weren’t planning a shakup. Then, all of the sudden, Schweitzer rotates out six seats–SIX. More turnover than any other board in the state by far! Sounds like a shakeup to me. Mr. Schweitzer, you think we’re not watching what’s going on with our children? Well we are. And we’re watching you, Mr. Schweitzer.
Hi, Oprah here.
I’ve got some great advice for all you parents out there who have difficult kids.
One thing all the numerous guests on my show, including Dr. Phil, have said, is that young people respond best to progressive verbal discipline.
For girls, you tell them they’re fat and ugly until they mind. Look at how sucessful I am, and don’t think I didn’t used to break a toilet seat or two here and there.
For boys, tell them they’re stupid and useless until they come around. That worked for me with Dave Chappelle.
That’s straight from the horse’s mouth –Sorry Dr. Phil.
See you guys on the show.