re-ban chickens in Missoula

So far, Missoula’s 35 urban chicken permits have yielded 22 complaints for noise and public health violations. I know because I filed 20 of the complaints myself as health secretary of the Northside neighborhood watch.

As I write, chickens continue to pose a threat to the health of our children. The people have spoken, the concerns are out–it’s time to reban chickens.


<pulls his grizzly rifle out of the safe. begins cleaning rust of the bolt. smiles.>

John McCain said it was a waste of money–“pork barrel spending” I think he called it, but Conrad Burns’ brown bear count is looking pretty good. The results from the US Geological Survey came out today and it says perhaps 760 grizzly now live in northwestern Montana, according to federal scientists.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is currently reviewing whether to take the griz off the endangered species list. That would be great news for hunters, ranchers and boys up there dependent on the timber industry for jobs. This updated count will calculate into that decision, which we can expect in early 2009–hopefully before McCain’s inauguration. I tell you, this comes not a moment too soon. Earlier this summer, a judge in Missoula killed a logging project in the Yaak because of its supposed impact on grizzly populations. We now know the bears exist in much greater numbers, so we can deflate THAT point of eco-hysteria.

Now H. Dale Hall and them boys got the science in hand to prevent activist judges from costing Montanans work. It’s time to delist the rebounding grizzly because it’s pretty clear conservation efforts have been successful. Get the bear off the list soon, and let’s do some logging.

The wolves strike back

The newspaper says ranchers spotted and killed two wolves chasing livestock on private land Thursday up in Eureka. Y’all might recall, last week, FWP officials finished off an entire pack in the Bitterroot that had gotten a taste for domesticated meat. The original measure halved the group, but a few wolves went right on killing sheep ’till those boys had to just go and put ’em down.

This article, written by Plum Crick-hater Michael Jamison of the Missoulian, points out smart-assedly that the last confirmed wolf livestock kills ’round these parts occurred way back in 1997, as if to suggest the latest attacks are more a product of politics. Back in March, U.S. Fish and Wildlife honcho H. Dale Hall “desisted” the Rocky Mountain gray wolf from the Endangered Species Act. So just because ranchers and state officials can kill wolves now we’re just coming up with any lame excuse to do so? Well, if that’s what you think, Mr. Jamison, just come out and say it!

What makes you think the wolves don’t know better–that it’s no longer fun time? You know what I think? I think the wolves know about the delisting and they’re testing our resolve; that’s what that is.

All it takes is one wolf to come into Hamilton or Libby, take a look at the Missoulian or Interlake (or the Republic, if anyone’s left to write for them) and communicate that back to all their buddies in the pack. All that surveillance infrastructure from monitoring Little Red Riding Hood for the first half of the 20th Century, and you’re trying to tell me the wolves don’t know what the score is? Well they know–just like the terrorists know, which is why we need to keep our eyes peeled to those scopes with a finger on the trigger.

And anyone who thinks otherwise should just stop eating meat, because if we can’t protect our livestock, then we might as well sell to that developer fella. Wonder what the Missoula liberals think of that?


New West apparently needs some western geography lessons. They have a story about the Colorado presidential contest and the DNC’s role in it, but their graphic highlights…. Wyoming.

Laugh heartily at New West. HAHAHA.


It’s all over the liberal media right now that Scott Waldron is not only on vacation, but on extended leave because of problems with the board of directors. Now, when I say “board of directors” I’m specifically referring to the new majority, led by chair Mitchell Hicks, gumball salesman Glenn Greene and–the quiet one–Ray Winn. Looks like it took the new board members all of a few months to chase away both Waldron and vet panel member Tom Mahlum. How? With old people! You heard me–it looks like they commissioned the local AARP to declare war on Frenchtown Fire and the last protector of our homes, Scott Waldron.

We got an email from Scott not too far back that he was thinking of filing a claim against the board for breach of contract and creatin’ hostile work conditions. Meanwhile, buddies tell me you can’t get a thing done in that department without old folks demanding to know why the fork’s on the right side of the plate. Screw procedure… these guys are here to save our bacon the way Scott did when he lit those backburns last summer on Evaro Hill while those state fatcats pranced around like Helena dandies.
Now I don’t like property tax levies any more than any other Frenchtowner, but I also don’t like fire. I’m willing to spend money to protect our freedoms and the trucks and 4-wheelers we drive to exercise those freedoms. Waldron is an expense worth keeping. The antagonists will realize this too late, when they’re scrambling for their walkers as the next big wildland fire comes raging over the mountain.

We have to look out for our children, but we never quite know how to go about it. Certainly, being a parent is hard. Giving up and shipping your kids off to an internment camp in northwestern Montana, however, is not the right way to go about it.

Some of you might remember Spring Creek Academy, the Thompson Falls “alternative school” that got in trouble a while back for causing psychological harm to its students. Cruel and unusual punishment? Closed door practices? Not in my backyard, Spring Creek.

About the same time, a few good legislators formed a state board of adolescent torture industry representatives to come up with a system of rules. They called it the board of Private Alternative Adolecent Residential Programs, or PAARP). Sort of like the livestock industry has a Uniform Methods and Rules code–same thing. The state said, “Here juvenile waterboarders, here’s an opportunity to police yourself, please take advantage of it.” Of course, they didn’t and a few rules proposed by various legislators proved hard to swallow… like one banning cruel and unusual punishment. I guess we know now where George Bush got his start, right?

The PAARP board’s deadline for drafting this rule book is October. Now my cousin, Bethany Nimbelton in Helena, nevertheless heard about Gov. Brian Schweitzer ordering a shakeup of the PAARP board almost two months ago. “Now, how are they supposed to meet their deadline,” I asked Bethany, incredulously. “Nancy Nimbleton,” she told me, “I don’t think the Governor thinks they’re serious about drafting rules. It looks like the board’s been on a procrastination mission for two years!”

Well that just steams me. Worse off, when I called the Governor back in July, his staff told me they weren’t planning a shakup. Then, all of the sudden, Schweitzer rotates out six seats–SIX. More turnover than any other board in the state by far! Sounds like a shakeup to me. Mr. Schweitzer, you think we’re not watching what’s going on with our children? Well we are. And we’re watching you, Mr. Schweitzer.

Little bit’a delayed reaction here–been out exercising my freedoms.

A little bit of straight speak from our boy Mitchell Hicks, chair of Frenchtown Rural Fire. Now Mitchell pissed us off a few weeks back for antagonizing Scott Waldron, hero of the Black Cat Fire, but he redeemed himself Monday by laying down some truth about the Office of Property Grabbing. You see, Frenchtown came to its senses last month and realized that by going along with the OPG subdivision review, they were playing the man’s game in the following ways:

1. By using our taxpayer money to enforce the will of OPG…

2. thereby subsidizing higher development regulation standards than we as a community hold.

3. Opening Frenchtown, not rich-ass Missoula, up to litigation.

4. Making Scott Waldron mad.

5. Validating the cabal that is the OPG, James McCubbin, Bill Carey and Mike Sehestedt.

Now, of course, token “progressive” commissioner Bill Carey flipped out about Frenchtown’s decision to remove itself from subdivision review. “Oh no, I don’t know if I can approve any more Frenchtown subdivisions without the fire dept. telling us there’s systems in place to fight fire,” he says. Well, of course there’s systems in place, Mr. Carey. We still got building codes don’t we?

So, I’m loosing track of myself. Here’s where Mitchell rolls in with the straight speak… After cutting into a speech about how development approval is the business of planners, he says, “It’s time for those OPG boys to start earning their money.”

Hooyah, Mr. Hicks. Roger Millar can take that to the bank; although he probably goes to a “credit union.”